For Me

                                                                          

Hello to all of my lovely readers (that is, if I still have any).  I know that it's been a little shy of two months since I've blogged anything.  I've meant to get on here and type away, many times, but something always seemed to come up.  Searching for a topic to write about somehow gave me an excuse to put it off another day, go at it again tomorrow.  After about the third week of "not writing" anything, I finally gave up on the blog.  I decided that it was too time consuming and too much work.  It was fun at first, posting my silly thoughts up here and watching as people responded to them.  It made me feel important and "cool", in a sense that other people were actually reading my writings outside of a classroom setting.  But after a while, it became like a nagging task that was always there whispering, "You have to blog.  It's been two days since the last post.  Make sure you find an interesting topic.  It has to be spectacular."  I realized that I was writing for "the people" when I should have been writing for me.  Before I started this blog, writing was my outlet for whatever emotional roller coaster I was riding.  I wrote because I considered it an art form, something beautiful, something that made me feel good.  It was something I could do completely free, with no inhabitions, and could control.  Anymore, I'm always worried about if my topic was fascinating enough or original enough or catchy enough for my readers. 

I know I've had posts on here before about making a comeback from a break and promising to blog regularly, blah blah blah.  I'm not saying that this time.  In fact, I'm not promising anything and I'm certainly not going to keep to any schedule.  I'm going to write when I want, what I want, how I want, and write it for me.  I'm going to enjoy it again, and not look at it like a judge and decide if this week's topic is "in or out"!