Let Me Fix You

Life's not fair,
It deals us blows,
Brings me down low.

                                      I want to help,
                                      But I can't,
                                      You won't confide,
                                      Keep me on the outside.

I cry and complain,
There's too much pain,
Can't take the strain.

                                      You stumble and fall,
                                      Ignoring my call.

I moan,
And I groan,
I feel all alone.

                                      Let me help,
                                      Let me try,
                                      I'm here,
                                      Don't cry.

The weight is crushing,
I can feel the air rushing,
Out of my lungs,
Into the night.

                                     Just breathe,
                                     Don't think,
                                     Trust me,
                                     I won't let you sink.

Save me,
Please someone,
Hold me,
Keep me steady.

                                     I'm here,
                                     It's okay,
                                     I'll stop the hurt,
                                     And take the pain away.

Falling Thoughts



They were falling, falling like heavy water during a Springtime thunderstorm.  The earth below was saturated, protesting with splattering sounds.  Chilly air clawed at her clothes as she stood pondering a secret waterfall from the gutter.  Was it all just an illusion?  It was hard to tell, especially when reality blended seamlessly with the images from her mind.  Maybe it was a mistake to have acted so brashly, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.  A crow cawed overhead, sending shivers creeping down her scalp.  A bad omen.  For once in her life, she didn't have an answer...didn't know what to do.  The battle in her mind separated her from others.  A solitary life amongst family.  Soft earth squelched between her toes as she strode up the path to the front door.  She threw a glance over her shoulder as she entered the house.  Only time would tell if she had made the right decision.

Moving

Leaves scatter across the front lawn, and I just laugh.  I won't have to rake them this year, which causes an unusual amount of joy to well up in me.  Turning back to the task at hand, I wrap another picture in bubble wrap and stick it in the box with the others.  We're moving in about a week to a town about fifteen minutes away from here.  There's a beautiful tree at our new house.  It looks ancient and leans slightly to the right, threatening to shed its yellow leaves onto the cracked cement below.  This will be a good move.  A time for change, a time to start over, a time to improve.  It will also complicate things, but that's how life works: you give a little, it takes a lot.

100 Words: Soaking It All In

 

Going My Way plays in the background as I light the candle and settle in my chair.  Darkness stains the sky, and leaves shiver in the frosty night air.  Inside, the air is thick and warm, infused with the inviting aroma of apples and cinnamon.  The dogs look up expectantly as fresh loaves of pumpkin-gingerbread float from oven to countertops.  "Maybe next time guys".  Bing Crosby's voice soothes its way through my tense shoulders, instantly relaxing me.  With only soft lamplight and shadows from the t.v., I tuck in under my quilt and soak it all in.

Hope

Take my hand,

I will show you the way.

Wipe those tears,

From your pretty face.

Soon it'll be better,

The pain will fade.

Take my hand,

I will show you the way.

Please don't be angry,

You shall face your fears.

I know that you hurt,

But now I'm here.

Trust in me,

Your doubt, cast away.

Believe in me,

I will show you the way.

As a child I knew you,

In your mother's womb.

Loved and cared for,

I watched you bloom.

Trials and hardships,

Into your life, squeeze.
Now you are grieving,
I hear your pleas...

So please take my hand.
Let me show you the way.
I am beside you,
For all of your days.



Autumn At Twilight



I can feel it coming.  The air smells differently, very faintly, but it's still there.  I look up to see an argumentative sky looming above me.  Black and blue clouds swirl together, suddenly closing in the infinite sky.  It might rain, or it might not; one can never tell for sure. 

As the breeze kicks up, I grab my sweatshirt and tumble out the back door.  My worn jeans and sneakers are perfect for the trek I'm about to take.  The woods open, welcoming me back like and old friend.  Instantly my nerves calm, and the tension dissipates like cool water running down my arms.  Fall is here.

The trees glow with their own fiery light as the sun descends.  Cicadas are noisily calling to one another, making it hard to hear the rushing brook just up ahead.  Being early fall, the underbrush isn't dead enough to crunch under my feet.  Instead, it quietly muffles my footsteps  as I approach the gurgling brook.  I spy a doe drinking daintily, peacefully.  Freezing so I won't disturb her, I marvel at her silent beauty.  And just like that, she darts away making me doubt whether I actually saw her or not.

I continue to creep further into the woods, feeling like a tress passer.  I am but a guest, come to take pleasure in Mother Nature's finest season. There is no path to the destination that I seek, but I'm not lost.  The cool breeze slithers through my shirt, caressing my skin.  It carries the scent of a distant fire.  It beckons and I follow.  It brings me to the perfect tree.  I climb up about 20 feet and find a niche between the trunk and branch.  At last I can finally relax.  Exhaling slowly, I take out my sketch book and try to capture this moment of rapture.

For Me

                                                                          

Hello to all of my lovely readers (that is, if I still have any).  I know that it's been a little shy of two months since I've blogged anything.  I've meant to get on here and type away, many times, but something always seemed to come up.  Searching for a topic to write about somehow gave me an excuse to put it off another day, go at it again tomorrow.  After about the third week of "not writing" anything, I finally gave up on the blog.  I decided that it was too time consuming and too much work.  It was fun at first, posting my silly thoughts up here and watching as people responded to them.  It made me feel important and "cool", in a sense that other people were actually reading my writings outside of a classroom setting.  But after a while, it became like a nagging task that was always there whispering, "You have to blog.  It's been two days since the last post.  Make sure you find an interesting topic.  It has to be spectacular."  I realized that I was writing for "the people" when I should have been writing for me.  Before I started this blog, writing was my outlet for whatever emotional roller coaster I was riding.  I wrote because I considered it an art form, something beautiful, something that made me feel good.  It was something I could do completely free, with no inhabitions, and could control.  Anymore, I'm always worried about if my topic was fascinating enough or original enough or catchy enough for my readers. 

I know I've had posts on here before about making a comeback from a break and promising to blog regularly, blah blah blah.  I'm not saying that this time.  In fact, I'm not promising anything and I'm certainly not going to keep to any schedule.  I'm going to write when I want, what I want, how I want, and write it for me.  I'm going to enjoy it again, and not look at it like a judge and decide if this week's topic is "in or out"!