Monday, October 25, 2010

Bothersome Toad

Good morning...er...almost afternoon, everyone.  I made a decision last night to actually start blogging on my blog.  That is, after all, the point of having a blog, right?  I've been using my blog as a poster board for my poems/short stories, but I've decided to also share my thoughts, for what they're worth, with the rest of the world (or at least the poor souls who follow me).  I guess I will start off with a little introduction about myself (as if anyone cares), and then move on to all these amazing thoughts that are floating around in my head.

My name is Kristen, and I'm 20 years old.  I live in Iowa for now, but will be moving in a couple of years(joy!).  I like long walks on the beach, candle light dinners...just kidding.  OK, seriously now.  I love to spend my time creating things, whether they're arts and crafts or writings, paintings, drawings, whatever.  I'm a very creative person, or I at least like to think I am.  My sense of humor is very odd and most people do not understand my jokes (mostly because they make more sense in my head than they do coming out of my mouth).  I talk to myself a lot, but don't worry, I'm not a mental case...I just have to talk things through sometimes.  I am a Christian and try to follow my faith as best I can, but I'm not a Bible beater and don't pretend to be smart about biblical things.  I love my family very much and spend a lot of time with them.  Family and friends are important to me, probably the most important things to me.  I don't have a lot of friends, but that's because I'd rather have one or two good friends, than fifteen or twenty acquaintances.  I am an aspiring writer and would love to get my works published someday (who doesn't, right?), which leads me into the subject of my first blog entry (hooray! enough about me).

So as I had mentioned earlier, I am working to get my writings published.  A couple of months ago, I entered some of my poems in an online contest, not expecting to hear a thing back from anyone.  Well, it turned out that my poem was selected to move on to the semi-final judging round, which made me feel so happy and proud (of course....I may have even uttered a boo-ya).  After reading the "fine print" I discovered that close to seventy-five percent of the entries usually made it to the semi-finals anyways.  Okay, so I wasn't so special after all, but hey, I still had an actual letter from a publishing company and who's to say I wouldn't win?  In addition, the letter said that my poem had been selected to be published in an anthology.  For those of you who don't know what an anthology is (because I sure as heck didn't know), it's "a collection of poems, stories, songs, etc." (compliments of Mr. Webster).  I didn't expect life could get any better than that (except for maybe a Tilt-O-Whirl ride in my backyard).  According to the letter, my poem was going to be published no matter what...even if I didn't win and even if I didn't buy a copy of the anthology.  I am on cloud nine by now, happy as can be.  The letter also said that I would be receiving another letter shortly, with an author's proof and comments from a real life editor.  I could then make corrections and send in my final copy for publication.  EEK!!!!

The second letter came today.  I was so excited.  I quickly skimmed over the cover sheet and couldn't wait to get to the meat and potatoes...the editor's comments!  I'll first type out the comments and then tell you my reaction.

" From the pain and sorrow of Love's dissolution, you have drawn inspiration for a moving verse that universalizes the experience of heartbreak.  In your poem, you have expressed this subject with poise and grace, even though you are reflecting on a very poignant time in your life.  Perfect consistency in tone-nice job!"

Now, except for the very last sentence, I admit that I found the whole comment rather cheesy and somewhat automated (as in, it was chosen from a drop-down list instead of actually typed out).  The editor didn't have any critiques or suggestions, which some may say is a good thing, but I find it a little disconcerting.  Then my dad, so very gracefully, asks, "Did your mom talk to you about that yet?".  I looked at him, a bit confused.  "No," I answered, "why, was there something she wanted to talk about?".  My dad replies, "She didn't have the heart to tell you, but she told me that they send things like that out all the time and nothing usually happens unless you buy something from them".  Really?  Really, did he have to say that to me?  At this point, you may consider my bubble burst and hopes just about dashed, but I'm still holding on.  I have to admit that my parents have a point.  I mean, when something usually sounds too good to be true, it usually is.  My reply to my dad was that even if it was a scam, all I lost was a few stamps, but it didn't hurt to try.  And for all we know, it may not be a scam (even though it does sound kind of scam-ish).

The point that I wanted to make out of this whole thing is this: sometimes we have to go through life a little doe-eyed and hoodwinked, otherwise we may never take risks or try new things.  I'm not saying that ignorance is bliss, and I'm not saying that we should all be stupid, but sometimes it's better to have a childlike faith or view of the world.  When we don't worry about the bad things or the losses or the heartbreaks, we plunge into something with one hundred percent of our effort, love, and time.  Sometimes we bite the dust, and sometimes we end up winning big, but there is always something to be learned no matter what the result.

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Red Sanctuary

As I walked into the ancient red sanctuary, a hushed feeling surrounded me, and I instantly fell silent.  The barn smelled of old age along with the smell of freshly cut hay that was golden brown, piled in heaps in the stalls.  Brightly colored sparros sat perched upon the dusty rafters, singing their morning song.  I walked over to the speckled horse in the stall and started petting its soft, velvety fur.  Te old dusty rafters led to a highly peaked ceiling that seemed to engulf everything beneath in its watchful, safe eyes.  As time drew upon me, I realized it was time to go to school.  Hurrying to the door, I stopped and took one last look, and found myself equipped with a feeling of peace.

Today

Today is....
     the worst
     crazy
     the hardest day
     filled to the top with labs and exams
     hurtful
     cranky
     gross
     icky
     horrible
     the crest before the fall

Yesterday was...
     better
     filled wtih expectations
     anxiety
     worry
     energetic
     wasteful, but not
     relaxing compared to
     Monday

Tomorrow will be...
     the end
     last test
     easy after that
     a sigh of relief
     a fresh breath of relaxation
     joyful
     happy
     exuberent
     clean
     grand

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Ultimate Experience

As the breeze rustles the leaves of the giant oak tree, a cascade of rain pelts the surface of the earth.  It's as if the tree is shaking itself fry like a dog after a bath.  The low rumbling of the clouds in the distance resonates through the air like an invisible wave.  This triggers the launch of the pent up lightening storm, waiting to unleash its fury across the open sky.  Suddenly there's a rapid display of brilliant white, blue, red, and violet running through the atmosphere, and then comes the rain:  the torrents of rain come ripping through the heavens, drenching everything.  By now the breeze has turned into a raging wind, ready to sweep up everything in its path.  The smell of rainwater clings to the grass, to the soil, to my clothes, and in my hair.  My skin is damp and sticky from the humidity.  For a splitting second, the only thing I can hear s the storm.  The only thing I can feel is the danger, the energy, the adrenaline.  With eyes closed, I can feel the power of the storm coursing through my entire body, from head to foot.  The air is crackling with the vigor of the lightening; the ground seems to be shuddering from the thrill of the storm.  Crack!  A bolt of lightening collides with a tree, causing it to explode, sending bits of bark flying through the air.  And then as suddenly as it began, the storm end, leaving a path of destruction in its place.  Branches are strewn everywhere.  Leaves litter the grass, the road, and the cars.  The wind diminishes into a gently breeze, bringing with it the smell of burnt wood from the tree that was hit by lightening.

Candle Wax

Melt it down
Make it your own
Myriads of shapes
Multitudes of colors


Adding dyes
Adding scents
Always ready to conform
Your wish is its command

Silently waiting for you
Never complaining
Content to wait

Warm and smooth
Cold and rough
Weak
Strong
Complete
Unfinished

Bringing to life the pictures of my mind
Forming by the energy of my fingers
Mistakes never existing
A reflection of me

Who Am I?

I am,

A student,

Creative,

Joyful,

Angry,

An ever chaning creation of God, An observer, An architect,

Lazy, Hardworking, A best friend, A sister, A daughter,

A scientist,

Free,

A dreamer,

Trapped,

Crazy,

Shy,

Beautiful,

Sinful,

Forgiven,

I am a child of God.



The Storm

Hear the thunder rolling,
Feel the awesome power,
Taste the rain that's falling,
Praise God, creator of this splendid shower.

See the trees dancing in the wind,
Watch birds flee to their nests,
Witness lightening from the clouds descend,
Glimpse a cat woken from his afternoon rest.

Hear a mother calling her son,
Listen to the bull frogs uttering their sound,
Heed to the children's splashes in the puddles, having fun,
Hear the patter of the rain coming down.

Feel the air as it crackles,
Sense God in all that surrounds me,
Stroke a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, from its shackles,
Experience all of nature as it turns crazy.

Taste the cool, flowing breeze,
Savor the flavor of the water as it hits my tongue,
Drink in the smell of wet leaves,
Relish in the feeling that this storm has only just begun.

Smell the churning earth,
Inhale the aromas of Mother Nature,
Breathe in the scent of a fire in a neighbor's hearth,
Smell the fear running through God's furry creatures.

Hear the thunder rolling,
Feel the awesome power,
Taste the rain that's falling,
Praise God, creator of this splendid shower.